you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How does one acquire holy water?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
