I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
