is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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