You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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