24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
