You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
