i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
