Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
