This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
