I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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