I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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