i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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