Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
