Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You're a waste of cheezeits
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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