so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
