i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
