Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
