I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
