the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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