No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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