i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
