i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
