Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
