so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
