The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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