Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
