You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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