No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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