the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
