that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Randomize
