yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Drake has all the answers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
