I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
