Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
