Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
