He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
