I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just pee around me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
