i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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