Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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