whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
