I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
How does one acquire holy water?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
