Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
