You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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