I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
