got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
