Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
