No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my shit smells like andre
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
