Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
