im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
