final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
