Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
