had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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