I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
