He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
